What is the significance of Golden Seam?

Golden Seam Midwifery was born of the transformation I experienced while working to process my own birth-related PTSD. For years I felt shame, disembodiment, hypervigilance, and profound grief around my birth experience. Although I had worked through the acute aspects of my trauma in therapy, I continued to feel the silent weight of the burden for years thereafter. As I began to speak publicly about my experience, and to expose the seam in my exterior that I’d worked so hard to conceal, a dramatic shift occurred. Individuals spontaneously shared their own experiences of birth trauma with me. Health care providers confided the vicarious trauma they had sustained while attending difficult births. I no longer felt alone. The more I exposed the parts of me that felt broken, the stronger and lighter and healthier I felt. Others seemed to feel similarly fortified by the sharing.

When I read about the Japanese practice of kintsugi — the repair of broken pottery with golden leaf, highlighting the seams between pieces — it resonated with me deeply. The philosophical underpinning of kintsugi — that the beauty in every piece lies in its visible imperfections — mirrored the personal evolution and unburdening of shame that brought me so much hope. For so long I found myself waiting for the “healing” to come, for the wounds to disappear. The more I considered the grief a part of me rather than something to be fixed, the healthier I felt. Pottery repaired in the tradition of kintsugi is beautifully whole and functionally perfect. So too am I, I realized, traumatic birth and all.

You’re not attending births. What makes this a midwifery practice?

Midwives are for everyone. It is my deep conviction that all people, at all stages of childbearing and in all cycles of life, deserve and can benefit from midwifery care. My approach to the work of Golden Seam is deeply rooted in this belief, and in midwifery’s philosophy that honoring the whole person is a prerequisite to providing therapeutic care. Moreover, my education and experience as a midwife inform the way I think about birthing people, bodily autonomy, consent, physiologic birth, cesarean birth, and trauma. Finally, it was my own connection to the art of midwifery, and to many fellow midwives who loved me and listened to me and processed with me when I was grappling with my own birth experience, that brought me to this point of wholeness. It is my hope that I can midwife you through this difficult time, as they midwifed me, and that together we can find the golden seam that lies within you.

Are you a therapist? If not, how is this different from therapy?

I hold certifications as a nurse-midwife and women’s health nurse practitioner; I am not a licensed or trained therapist. I view the services I offer as an adjunct to (not a replacement for) therapy.

As a survivor of birth trauma, my lens is different from that of a therapist. I share many of the thoughts, bodily experiences, and fears carried by those who have experienced difficult childbirth. As a midwife, I bring to the conversation a deep understanding of childbirth, from both physiologic and medical perspectives, that can be helpful to individuals wanting to process specific aspects of their birth experiences or medical interventions they received. I am familiar with the landscape of pregnancy and birth care in the Philadelphia region and beyond, and have professional and personal connections to birth providers in a wide variety of settings. As such, I understand the various standards of care and obstetrical climates present in different birthing environments in and around Philadelphia.

Finally, it is my expectation that the work I do with you will be more targeted than therapy (and thus more circumscribed — fewer sessions required over a shorter period of time). We will work to process the birth experience and the ripple effects of that experience in other aspects of your life, with a goal of moving you through your grief so that you feel more whole. We may talk, review photos from the birth, read through your medical records together, discuss articles others have found helpful, practice meditation, and brainstorm ways to get through difficult moments or reframe to cope with intrusive thoughts. If you are planning another pregnancy or are currently pregnant, we can craft a birth wishes document, review the many and varied options for pregnancy and birth care near you, and identify the aspects of your future birth experience that are most significant to you (which will ultimately drive where and how you choose to give birth). We will also discuss postpartum preparation so you can set in place the supports that will most nourish you and your family.

Are your services covered by insurance?

At this time, health insurance companies are not covering the services provided by Golden Seam. My hope is that at some point in the future, my services may be covered by health insurance companies in a manner similar to mental health services or obstetrical/midwifery consultations.